The Theme(s) of “This Always Happens to Me”
When we experience a traumatic event in life or endure an unsafe childhood, our perception is often skewed towards a sense of danger rather than safety. You might find a recurring theme in your life, such as “nothing ever changes” or “this always happens to me.” Consequently, different experiences, even if unrelated to the original trauma, may be grouped together in a mental “laundry basket” labeled “bad stuff.” This basket contains various elements like socks, t-shirts, and underwear, all jumbled up and categorized as “bad,” “this always happens,” or “I never get things right.” This clumping of negative experiences in our psyche and bodies serves as a survival strategy, making these feelings more manageable.
Recently, I attended a four-day intensive training in Trauma Coupling Dynamics in Vancouver, led by Dr. Kathy Kain, a veteran in the somatic field with 40 years of experience and over 20 years of teaching. The intensity of the training comes from learning new material and exercises, followed by practicing on each other. This dual role means that we are both practitioners and clients. Kathy is an exceptional teacher, and I left with a deeper understanding of how experiences become intertwined, as well as new insights into how I have already been applying this method. I also discovered ways to assist my clients in reshaping their experiences of “this always happens to me.”
I can provide clients with knowledge about nervous system theory, support their settling with therapeutic touch, highlight attachment wounds, and facilitate the process of unraveling trauma. However, the true joy comes when my clients experience that enlightening felt sense “aha” moment in both their bodies and minds. This realization is affirming for both them and me, and it is the reason I love this work.
For more information on how somatic therapy can help you untangle trauma coupling dynamics please see link below.
Yours in Healing,
Caroldean Jude
Somatic Trauma Therapist
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner
Transforming Touch Practitioner
Internal Family Systems Therapist
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