Tag: OCD

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  • How Could a Baby not be Worthy?

    How Could a Baby not be Worthy?

    The healing journey is not a linear process. It has hills, valleys, and when you reach a mountain top there is a sense of elation and self discovery, and a feeling of “I made it”! When you start to gain greater nervous system regulation, there is a discovery and capacity for being able to be with past triggers. When you do dip into a valley it does not feel great and often triggers the tender younger parts of you to arise with their well meaning, but constricted black and white thinking.

    These younger versions of yourself have their own, nervous system, behavioral and reactionary patterns and were created at a time when you had to survive. Their roles of protection are filtered through that lens of not feeling safe, and often manifest in ways to keep you small, nonthreatening, and even hidden. Abstract thinking typically develops in humans during adolescence, around age 12, marking the formal operational stage of cognitive development. You know it is a younger part when there are polarized messages of “I have to be perfect, do perfect or I am worthless”, or “I have to try 150% or I’m lazy,” etcetera.

    I invite you to bring gentle awareness to their patterns of behavior, automatic reactions, emotions, and sensations, or even where you feel them in your body. This could look like chronic pain that has been medically cleared, fawning behavior triggered when someone seems threatening, or a sensation pattern of tightness in the body. Practice befriending instead of pushing away, inviting in curiosity and compassion, checking in with your pain/sensation/emotion and ask, “what do you need me to know?”

    The negative experiences from your childhood are intricate and multi-layered, often requiring the development of courageous self-compassion skills to navigate. A fundamental question arises: How could any baby or child entering this world not be worthy of unconditional love? It’s important to consider that the trauma burden left by your caregivers is not yours to carry. They may not have been able to provide the care/love you needed and deserved, and how could you (as a baby/child) be responsible for that. You have always been enough, you have always been worthy.

    Yours in Healing,

    Caroldean

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Book Free 20 Minute Consult

  • Meaning Making In Life

    The Theme(s) of “This Always Happens to Me”

    When we experience a traumatic event in life or endure an unsafe childhood, our perception is often skewed towards a sense of danger rather than safety. You might find a recurring theme in your life, such as “nothing ever changes” or “this always happens to me.” Consequently, different experiences, even if unrelated to the original trauma, may be grouped together in a mental “laundry basket” labeled “bad stuff.” This basket contains various elements like socks, t-shirts, and underwear, all jumbled up and categorized as “bad,” “this always happens,” or “I never get things right.” This clumping of negative experiences in our psyche and bodies serves as a survival strategy, making these feelings more manageable.

    Recently, I attended a four-day intensive training in Trauma Coupling Dynamics in Vancouver, led by Dr. Kathy Kain, a veteran in the somatic field with 40 years of experience and over 20 years of teaching. The intensity of the training comes from learning new material and exercises, followed by practicing on each other. This dual role means that we are both practitioners and clients. Kathy is an exceptional teacher, and I left with a deeper understanding of how experiences become intertwined, as well as new insights into how I have already been applying this method. I also discovered ways to assist my clients in reshaping their experiences of “this always happens to me.”

    I can provide clients with knowledge about nervous system theory, support their settling with therapeutic touch, highlight attachment wounds, and facilitate the process of unraveling trauma. However, the true joy comes when my clients experience that enlightening felt sense “aha” moment in both their bodies and minds. This realization is affirming for both them and me, and it is the reason I love this work.

    For more information on how somatic therapy can help you untangle trauma coupling dynamics please see link below.

    Yours in Healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner

    Transforming Touch Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Book a 20 Minute Consult

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  • Resistance to the Process…

    Rebranding of Blue Butterfly Healing

    Dear Ones,

    When I decided my path to train and gain knowledge in the field of Somatic Therapy, I wanted to help people, and I did not think of the background of owning my own business as part of it. I started out seven years ago as Blue Butterfly Healing, blue is the color of the throat chakra, a place where you can feel and share your words, and the butterfly is a symbol of resiliency and transformation. I loved it for what it meant to me and what I wanted to guide my potential clients towards—feeling heard, seen, and acknowledged for who they are and tapping into their innate resilience. The process of learning and then honing somatic skills, knowledge, applying it in real life for my clients as well as myself, at the same time combining branding, marketing on social media, advertising on Google, learning computer skills, has been a huge undertaking and a labor of love. I recently decided to rebrand Blue Butterfly Healing to Somatic Therapy Kelowna, as a way to be more intentional in what I have to offer and make it easier for people to find me. There has been a bit of grief in saying farewell to the name BBH, and I feel in my new name I have “graduated” towards something bigger.

    In this recent growth period, I have noticed that in the process of learning new email applications, new website hosting, rebranding all the logos, the email addresses, etc., I was resistant. There was a part of me that was annoyed, impatient, and frankly, feeling petulant, as in why am I doing this all over again?! I had to pause, check in, and find that part of me that was really resistant to the process, as she was taking a lot of energy in her resistance. As I turned with curiosity and compassion towards her, acknowledging her frustration and meaning-making of “this is too hard”, she could soften. I felt where the tension was in my body, let the muscles soften, and deepened my breath, and felt the humor at my younger impatient self. Resisting and bracing whatever is going on in life takes away from the energy of moving forward of healing. It often shows up in the body in a myriad of ways, from gut tension, jaw tightness, or shallow breathing. I invite you to acknowledge your resistance and/or impatience to repurpose your energy of pushing away to moving towards something wonderful in your life. It’s there if you change your looking, even for a second.

    Yours in healing,
    Caroldean Jude,
    Somatic Trauma Therapist
    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner
    Transforming Touch Practitioner
    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Book Free 20 Minute Consult

  • FREE ANXIETY WORKSHOP

    Dear Ones,

    Are you struggling to be able to relax, do you find that you need to keep busy, having trouble sleeping? Would you like to learn the science and physiology of anxiety and the complexities of being human in the modern world?

    If yes to all or any of those, I want to invite you to come to my Free Anxiety Workshop where you can gain information, clarity and learn some tools to support, recognize and lessen your anxiety symptoms.

    Understanding Anxiety and Stress: The Science of Being Human

    Delve into the intricate science and physiology behind anxiety and stress, while also exploring the challenges of modern society. This exploration will be enriched by practical tools and insights from my extensive experience, certifications, and workshops in Somatic Experiencing, Transforming Touch, Somatic Touch Skills, and Somatic Resilience and Regulation.

    What You’ll Gain

    • Renewed Emotional Awareness: Develop a deeper understanding of your emotions and how they manifest in your body.
    • Grounding Techniques: Acquire practical tools to help you stay grounded during stressful situations.
    • Nervous System Regulation: Learn effective techniques to regulate your nervous system, promoting calm and resilience.
    • Receive handouts after attending, on the nervous system, tools to help support more regulation and capacity in your system.

    Through this workshop, you’ll discover valuable resources and gain a comprehensive understanding of the human experience in today’s world. There will be space to have any questions that you may have regarding somatic therapy.

    We will end with a short meditation with the intention to support nervous system regulation. I look forward to supporting you and sharing my knowledge!

    Warmly,

    Caroldean

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner

    Transforming Touch Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Please book and get your zoom link no later than an hour prior to the workshop.