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  • How Could a Baby not be Worthy?

    How Could a Baby not be Worthy?

    The healing journey is not a linear process. It has hills, valleys, and when you reach a mountain top there is a sense of elation and self discovery, and a feeling of “I made it”! When you start to gain greater nervous system regulation, there is a discovery and capacity for being able to be with past triggers. When you do dip into a valley it does not feel great and often triggers the tender younger parts of you to arise with their well meaning, but constricted black and white thinking.

    These younger versions of yourself have their own, nervous system, behavioral and reactionary patterns and were created at a time when you had to survive. Their roles of protection are filtered through that lens of not feeling safe, and often manifest in ways to keep you small, nonthreatening, and even hidden. Abstract thinking typically develops in humans during adolescence, around age 12, marking the formal operational stage of cognitive development. You know it is a younger part when there are polarized messages of “I have to be perfect, do perfect or I am worthless”, or “I have to try 150% or I’m lazy,” etcetera.

    I invite you to bring gentle awareness to their patterns of behavior, automatic reactions, emotions, and sensations, or even where you feel them in your body. This could look like chronic pain that has been medically cleared, fawning behavior triggered when someone seems threatening, or a sensation pattern of tightness in the body. Practice befriending instead of pushing away, inviting in curiosity and compassion, checking in with your pain/sensation/emotion and ask, “what do you need me to know?”

    The negative experiences from your childhood are intricate and multi-layered, often requiring the development of courageous self-compassion skills to navigate. A fundamental question arises: How could any baby or child entering this world not be worthy of unconditional love? It’s important to consider that the trauma burden left by your caregivers is not yours to carry. They may not have been able to provide the care/love you needed and deserved, and how could you (as a baby/child) be responsible for that. You have always been enough, you have always been worthy.

    Yours in Healing,

    Caroldean

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Book Free 20 Minute Consult

  • Meaning Making In Life

    The Theme(s) of “This Always Happens to Me”

    When we experience a traumatic event in life or endure an unsafe childhood, our perception is often skewed towards a sense of danger rather than safety. You might find a recurring theme in your life, such as “nothing ever changes” or “this always happens to me.” Consequently, different experiences, even if unrelated to the original trauma, may be grouped together in a mental “laundry basket” labeled “bad stuff.” This basket contains various elements like socks, t-shirts, and underwear, all jumbled up and categorized as “bad,” “this always happens,” or “I never get things right.” This clumping of negative experiences in our psyche and bodies serves as a survival strategy, making these feelings more manageable.

    Recently, I attended a four-day intensive training in Trauma Coupling Dynamics in Vancouver, led by Dr. Kathy Kain, a veteran in the somatic field with 40 years of experience and over 20 years of teaching. The intensity of the training comes from learning new material and exercises, followed by practicing on each other. This dual role means that we are both practitioners and clients. Kathy is an exceptional teacher, and I left with a deeper understanding of how experiences become intertwined, as well as new insights into how I have already been applying this method. I also discovered ways to assist my clients in reshaping their experiences of “this always happens to me.”

    I can provide clients with knowledge about nervous system theory, support their settling with therapeutic touch, highlight attachment wounds, and facilitate the process of unraveling trauma. However, the true joy comes when my clients experience that enlightening felt sense “aha” moment in both their bodies and minds. This realization is affirming for both them and me, and it is the reason I love this work.

    For more information on how somatic therapy can help you untangle trauma coupling dynamics please see link below.

    Yours in Healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner

    Transforming Touch Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Book a 20 Minute Consult

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  • Resistance to the Process…

    Rebranding of Blue Butterfly Healing

    Dear Ones,

    When I decided my path to train and gain knowledge in the field of Somatic Therapy, I wanted to help people, and I did not think of the background of owning my own business as part of it. I started out seven years ago as Blue Butterfly Healing, blue is the color of the throat chakra, a place where you can feel and share your words, and the butterfly is a symbol of resiliency and transformation. I loved it for what it meant to me and what I wanted to guide my potential clients towards—feeling heard, seen, and acknowledged for who they are and tapping into their innate resilience. The process of learning and then honing somatic skills, knowledge, applying it in real life for my clients as well as myself, at the same time combining branding, marketing on social media, advertising on Google, learning computer skills, has been a huge undertaking and a labor of love. I recently decided to rebrand Blue Butterfly Healing to Somatic Therapy Kelowna, as a way to be more intentional in what I have to offer and make it easier for people to find me. There has been a bit of grief in saying farewell to the name BBH, and I feel in my new name I have “graduated” towards something bigger.

    In this recent growth period, I have noticed that in the process of learning new email applications, new website hosting, rebranding all the logos, the email addresses, etc., I was resistant. There was a part of me that was annoyed, impatient, and frankly, feeling petulant, as in why am I doing this all over again?! I had to pause, check in, and find that part of me that was really resistant to the process, as she was taking a lot of energy in her resistance. As I turned with curiosity and compassion towards her, acknowledging her frustration and meaning-making of “this is too hard”, she could soften. I felt where the tension was in my body, let the muscles soften, and deepened my breath, and felt the humor at my younger impatient self. Resisting and bracing whatever is going on in life takes away from the energy of moving forward of healing. It often shows up in the body in a myriad of ways, from gut tension, jaw tightness, or shallow breathing. I invite you to acknowledge your resistance and/or impatience to repurpose your energy of pushing away to moving towards something wonderful in your life. It’s there if you change your looking, even for a second.

    Yours in healing,
    Caroldean Jude,
    Somatic Trauma Therapist
    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner
    Transforming Touch Practitioner
    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Book Free 20 Minute Consult

  • FREE ANXIETY WORKSHOP

    Dear Ones,

    Are you struggling to be able to relax, do you find that you need to keep busy, having trouble sleeping? Would you like to learn the science and physiology of anxiety and the complexities of being human in the modern world?

    If yes to all or any of those, I want to invite you to come to my Free Anxiety Workshop where you can gain information, clarity and learn some tools to support, recognize and lessen your anxiety symptoms.

    Understanding Anxiety and Stress: The Science of Being Human

    Delve into the intricate science and physiology behind anxiety and stress, while also exploring the challenges of modern society. This exploration will be enriched by practical tools and insights from my extensive experience, certifications, and workshops in Somatic Experiencing, Transforming Touch, Somatic Touch Skills, and Somatic Resilience and Regulation.

    What You’ll Gain

    • Renewed Emotional Awareness: Develop a deeper understanding of your emotions and how they manifest in your body.
    • Grounding Techniques: Acquire practical tools to help you stay grounded during stressful situations.
    • Nervous System Regulation: Learn effective techniques to regulate your nervous system, promoting calm and resilience.
    • Receive handouts after attending, on the nervous system, tools to help support more regulation and capacity in your system.

    Through this workshop, you’ll discover valuable resources and gain a comprehensive understanding of the human experience in today’s world. There will be space to have any questions that you may have regarding somatic therapy.

    We will end with a short meditation with the intention to support nervous system regulation. I look forward to supporting you and sharing my knowledge!

    Warmly,

    Caroldean

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing Practitioner

    Transforming Touch Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems Therapist

    Please book and get your zoom link no later than an hour prior to the workshop.

  • Free Anxiety Workshop – Come Back Home to You

    Free Anxiety Workshop – Come Back Home to You

    Dear Ones,

    We are navigating unusual times filled with uncertainties in the global political landscape. Unfortunately, this can exacerbate existing anxiety and chronic stress. Whether you’re facing challenges, struggling to settle down, dealing with excessive worries, or experiencing generalized anxiety, I aim to share my knowledge to help you.

    I am hosting a free workshop focused on anxiety, designed to provide education, teach coping skills, and support emotional regulation, concluding with a meditation to enhance this process.

    Join me to explore the science behind anxiety and stress, as well as the complexities of modern human existence. I will share various tools to help you, drawing from somatic experiencing and transformative touch.

    Please register for this free workshop and take the first step toward a more serene and joyful life. Ensure you receive your link at least three hours in advance.  This will take place March 31st @5:00 p.m.

    https://calendly.com/bluebutterflyhealing12/free-anxiety-workshop

    Yours in healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems® Therapist

    1638 Pandosy Street, #11

    Kelowna, BC, Canada

  • The Art of Healing: A Yoga and Meditation Series

    The Art of Healing: A Yoga and Meditation Series

    I am thrilled to be hosting The Art of Healing:  A Yoga & Meditation series that integrates Trauma-Informed Yoga, Somatic Experiencing®, and a meditation technique utilizing Transforming Touch® therapy. My goal for this series is to equip participants with tools for enhanced body awareness, support nervous system regulation, and create a safe, compassionate environment for self-discovery and empowerment of choice.

    What does somatic mean?

    The term ‘soma’ originates from Greek, signifying ‘the living body as known from within’ or understood by the Self. This sense of ‘knowing’ represents a state of wholeness. Somatic therapy offers an experiential method for integrating the mind and body. Trauma often leads to pain, overwhelm, and coping mechanisms that disconnect us from feeling at home in our bodies, resulting in an inner split.

    What will the classes look like?:

    45 minute gentle yoga class through lens of somatic (body) awareness (trauma-informed).

    30 minute group healing meditation with Transforming Touch® (this will be intentional touch in supporting nervous system regulation).

    15 minute discussion/questions, reflections, education.

    Before class I will be emailing students with information to support their experience. I will also be available by email for any questions or concerns that that may come up. 

    General Outline

    Week One

    The practice of  Felt sense, What is it and how do I access it?

    Week Two

    The “Ceptions”  Introception, Exteroception, Neuroception, Proprioception

    How the body takes in information to tell us whether the environment or the people around us are “safe”

    Week Three

    The cost of doing business – Allostatic Load.  How to lessen the “stress load” on the body.

     Week Four

    Connecting to the different parts of us, and the practice of self-compassion.

    I hope to see you there!  If you have any questions please feel free to reach out by email to me at caroldean@somatictherapykelowna.ca

    Warmly yours,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems® Therapist

  • From Overwhelm to Calm: Tools to Support you during Difficult Times

    From Overwhelm to Calm: Tools to Support you during Difficult Times

    Dear Ones,

    The current political unrest feels overwhelming, especially with the constant influx of information from social media, which can strain an already burdened system.  When chaos surrounds you—whether in your living room, on your phone, or your laptop—and your body starts preparing for danger, how can you support yourself without diving into that chaos? Below is my “go-to” list that I find helpful:

    Tools to Support Your Nervous System

    1. Tell yourself “STOP” to redirect your focus from negative thoughts.
    2. Exhale all your breath, then inhale deeply so your abdomen expands slightly—pause—then exhale with a sigh or perform a lion’s breath (stick out your tongue and roar as you exhale). Ensure your exhale is longer than your inhale, and pause for a few counts after emptying your lungs. Repeat once more.
    3. Become aware of your connection to the chair beneath you or your feet on the ground, grounding yourself with the Earth.
    4. Use positive affirmations, such as “I am safe right now” or “I am okay.”
    5. Cultivate curiosity with one of your senses, like sight. Where do your eyes want to wander? What do you see in your immediate environment? Can you broaden your peripheral vision?
    6. Pay attention to what feels good in your body right now and gently explore how to deepen that pleasant sensation.
    7. Take a moment to pause and be curious about your bodily sensations, befriending them instead of judging them.

    When we are already grappling with chronic stress, anxiety, or panic, these external messages reinforce our system’s instinctual “alarm physiology,” signaling that we are in danger. While these times may feel unsettling, we can practice avoiding the chaos and cultivate our sense of peace in the moment. The practices above aim to enhance our ability to be present with bodily sensations, that might have been shaped by our past and heightened by the message we are receiving regarding the political climate. While we may feel powerless to directly influence the situation, we can support our systems by stepping away from the social media “drama” and creating our own space of tranquility.

    I am passionate about equipping individuals with tools to remain present, to view past trauma as a testament to resilience, and to foster greater self-agency, confidence, and vitality.

    For more information on how Somatic Therapy can help you on your healing journey please reach out and book a free 20 minute consultation to get more information.    Link:  https://calendly.com/bluebutterflyhealing12/20min

    Yours in healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing ® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch ® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems ® Therapist

  • Shame is not your Burden to Carry

    Shame is not your Burden to Carry

    Hello Dear Ones,

    I know that this is a subject that can be difficult to acknowledge to oneself, let alone talk to others about.  I want this to be a safe space to put into words the difficulties that can arise in life due to the misattunement of our caregivers in early life.  Shame is a byproduct of us taking on the emotional burden/responsibility of our childhood mistreatment, when it is not ours to hold.

    Shame’s Burden

    You might have wanted to hide your emotional struggles, physical pain that there is no explanation for or even give up and isolate altogether.  Shame might be playing a role (hidden in the background) here.  Our society in general does not offer a lot of credence to intangible pain, emotional or physical, though I feel this is starting to change.  The silent message is that if you cannot see it, it is not real.  There is an old saying that applies here:  “It’s all in your head.”

    The shame response that I am referring to is when people feel shame for their supposed “weaknesses” of depression, anxiety and/or chronic physical pain or fatigue.  That somehow your mental or unexplainable physical health struggles are your fault and proof of your inability to will yourself into wellness.  Every human has at some point, has had to live with the above so why is there still a stigma in our medical based world, that unless there is a definitive label/diagnostic criteria, there is a underlying message of “weakness” of character.  This in of itself reaffirms the underlying trauma, and compounds the shame burden.

    I have hope that soon there will be more awareness around trauma, that it is more physiological than psychological, and shows up in different ways in the body/mind/spirit.  That there will be more tolerance and support for people during all of their dark days, and for the ways that pain has manifested in their lives.  That we will be living in a world were there is more acceptance,  compassion and access to healing modalities that might not be considered conventional.

    Finally, I hope that as individuals we feel free and empowered to seek and receive the help (whatever that is) we need, without the pall of shame.  I feel it coming, even in these uncertain times….

    For more information on how Somatic Therapy can aide you on your path towards healing, please book your free call with me.

    Yours in healing,

    Caroldean Jude,

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems® Therapist

  • Introception

    Introception

    Happy New Year Dear Ones!

    The beginning of a New Year always fills me with hope, the feeling of possibility and a renewed sense of beginning again with renewed vitality.   I tell my clients a calm body is a calm mind, which I have experienced both personally and professionally.  Creating that calmness within begins with starting to practice being with sensations, reactions and emotions that arise within.  It is the practice of making friends with the things that we have pushed away for too long, gently with self compassion instead of judgment and shame.   We are not our trauma though many of us hold onto the burdens of our childhood, like it was our fault.  When examined these burdens are often not ours to carry and do not belong to us at all.

    Coming back to Introception and why it is important, it is really a part of the survival mechanisms that have been passed down through our evolutionary mammalian, and reptilian DNA .  In our modern technological world this is often not utilized as often or at all.   This is already laid down for us in our physiology, and it takes some practice to hone into it, and to  be with the body again after trauma.

    This an exercise adapted from “The Tao of Trauma”, (go slowly there is no need to rush):

    • See if you can remember a time when you felt most like yourself or how you would like to be more yourself.  See yourself being hugged by a loved one, seen through their eyes or embracing a quality or skill that is uniquely you.  Practice bringing awareness to the feeling of being the most like yourself with gentle curiosity.  Take time to arrive in it and savor this feeling.

    Once anchored in this resourced state go onto the next practice.

    • Now explore a time where you went through some challenges or difficulties.  This could be a time when there was a struggle with circumstances or struggle with self that you successfully negotiated and felt better for having gone through it.  Think of that occasion with curiosity and let yourself explore your state of mind and state of being.

    Take your time to feeling your interoceptive experience of a little bit of activation, and as it rises and falls, take in the sensate experience of personal growth that perhaps resulted. If this feels like too much go back to when you felt most like yourself.  Ground yourself through feeling where you are sitting or standing, bringing your awareness to your hips or your feet. 

    For more information on how Somatic Therapies can help you in your healing journey and come back home to you, please contact me or book a free call to discuss my services.

    Yours in Healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems® Therapist

  • Give yourself the Gift of Pause this Holiday Season

    Give yourself the Gift of Pause this Holiday Season

    Dear Ones,

    The holiday season is in full swing with a to-do list that is running out of days to finish.  This can leave us with extra stress to get the “perfect” gift, decorate, plan –   leading to ruminating about it all and causing distress. Rumination is a method of responding to distress that repetitively focuses on causes, outcomes, physical symptoms or the thoughts themselves. 

    Part of our survival system involves the searching for what the threat is, either internally or out in our environment.  The continual searching/scanning and thoughts racing is a form of hypervigilance in the search for control and therefore safety.  This can cause a shallow breath pattern, releasing cortisol from the adrenal glands, making one feel like they are always “on”.

    I invite you to practice pausing, and creating gentle awareness to how your system is reacting to the ruminations, and start to build a new way of responding to increased stress.  Turn towards them (thoughts/ruminations) practicing befriending them instead of pushing them away, this only causes more internal strife and pain.

    Pause and bring awareness to your breath, and/or to one of  your senses (touch, sight, hearing, taste, smell) to stay in the present moment, creating a new neural pathway of capacity and resilience.  You are not your ruminations, you are a beautiful, living, human being who deserves to feel safe and loved. 

    I wish you a holiday season full of connection, love, and good food.  I will be back in 2025!

    **Somatic Experiencing®,  Transforming Touch®, and Internal Family System® therapy(s) are gentle, holistic ways to create new neural pathways of safety, connection to self and others. A well-regulated nervous system builds upon your self agency and is the key to mental and physical health. For more information on how Somatic Therapy can help you in your healing journey please book a free consultation with me.**

    Yours in healing,

    Caroldean Jude

    Somatic Trauma Therapist

    Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner

    Transforming Touch® Practitioner

    Internal Family Systems® Therapist