Dear Friends,
I saw Gabor Mate a few days ago and he was giving a talk on his book “the Myth of Normal”, discussing how the society that we live in, is contributing to the underlying trauma in the underlying lack of importance of providing children with the nurturing that is needed to support healthy upbringing.
Parenting , undoubtedly the most important job there is, as it the raising of humans of our future society and humanity as a whole. When caregivers themselves have had mis-attuned parents, the essential foundation of receiving, giving love, creating safety and stability are not there. When I say safety, I am not referring the safety of home and finances, I am referring to the felt knowledge that children need to feel loved and nurtured for who they are, not what they they achieve, how cute they are, not feeling like failures for not meeting parental expectations for them to be different. If your caregivers did not receive this stability in their own upbringing, they may lack the skills and/or the awareness that they can chose to raise their children differently.
If you did not receive this foundation of unconditional love, nurturing and support, you might find that you are an overachiever, people pleaser, feel that you give up your power in relationships, feeling that there is no other option. These are a few signs that you may be living with the effects of developmental trauma. This is not a life sentence, and you do have options to chose to show up for you, to chose to be curious and to re-parent and care for your younger wounded parts that are stuck in the past.
Through somatic awareness, supporting nervous system regulation, and practicing self-compassion for your wounded little parts, healing can begin. Choose you, choose to heal and empower yourself to live in your authentic self, freeing your parts and your essence to be more. The time is now.
With warm appreciation,
Caroldean Jude,
Somatic Experiencing Practitioner
Somatic Trauma Therapist
Internal Family Systems Therapist